Change A Habit Of A Lifetime
by CSIsnickers101
Summary: Sara was sick of being alone at Christmas but then Nick came knocking! Merry Christmas! x


Disclaimer - I don't own CSI.

A/N: This is my first story for a while so I hope everyone likes it. Told from Sara's POV, it just happened that way. Merry Christmas everyone! Enjoy!

Change A Habit Of A Lifetime

They say Christmas isn't the same without children. Not that I knew anything about that. It was just something I'd heard people say, that Christmas is a wonderful time of year when you have children you can watch enjoy the magic and festivities. I'd always thought it was a bit of an excuse for parents to go back to their own childhood and experience the wonder and excitement all over again. Not that that would be a bad thing, just merely an observation on my part. Perhaps it was just a way for adults to go back to believing in Santa again, because after all as an adult it's hard to believe in something you know isn't real at all.

Still, there is more to Christmas than just Santa and presents. Family get-togethers, family traditions, getting fat on Christmas dinner, playing board games, everyone arguing on Boxing Day, and more, all contributed to possibly the biggest occasion in the calendar. That was the kind of Christmas I wanted. I never wanted everything to be perfect, because life isn't perfect. But something had to be better than spending those supposedly merry days alone. Even if I was working, not many other people were, everyone else was with their families and because I didn't have one I would always try to volunteer to work Christmas Day, I was never going to be selfish and prevent someone from spending time with the people they loved. But it was hard, knowing I was sat waiting for a body to drop while my colleagues got drunk on mulled wine. I didn't resent anyone, I knew it was nobody's fault, you deal with the hand that your dealt. But there is only so much a person can take. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my own company, always have, unsurprisingly. I have always been perfectly happy just sitting in a corner by myself reading a book. Perhaps it was as I was getting older, and hopefully wiser, but I'd finally come to realise, and more importantly except, that a person cannot spend their entire life on their own. I know I wasn't always alone, I probably spent more time at the lab than I did in my pathetic excuse of a home, and I was endlessly fascinated and entertained by everyone I worked with. But you can be in a room full of people and still feel horrendously lonely.

There was a part of me that was almost glad I didn't have loads of weird family to strain to get along with. And I saved money on hardly buying any presents. Plus I didn't even really need to decorate my apartment as no one ever saw it, though I did try to inspire some festive cheer within myself by putting up the few Christmas cards I'd received. I did try every year, year on year, to see the up side of my situation but there is only so many times you can believe your own lies.

It was as if he knew I was feeling so down. It was as if he'd been a fly on my living room wall as I'd paced the floor in despair one crisp Christmas Eve. He'd just turned up out of the blue, totally unexpected. But not unwanted.

Nick explained that he'd missed his flight home because he was finishing up the paperwork for what was set to be his last case of the year and lost track of time. He'd thought about driving but decided he was too tired and quite frankly he wasn't even sure he was that upset about missing the flight in the first place. He'd said he'd thought about who he could visit without interrupting too much and thought of me. I wasn't sure whether to be flattered or offended. My face much have said as much because he soon back tracked and said he'd wanted to see me, wanted to spend some time with me over Christmas if I didn't mind. He had to be joking, it wasn't like I was expecting company from anyone else. It made sense really; why should either of us have been alone when we could have been spending time together? And if I could have picked anyone to spend Christmas with it would have probably been him. Nick was so enthusiastic about Christmas, loved everything about it. I reasoned that it was because he had such a large family that it meant so much to him, it must have been quite the orchestrated affair. But beautiful in way, beautiful in how all his family, of ranging ages, came together to celebrate one thing. I craved that. But for the moment I had Nick.

We talked for a while, about nothing in particular. It was lovely, just talking. Nothing forced or pressured in anyway, we were just two people talking on Christmas Eve. When things went quiet they weren't awkward either. I stood up and fetched us a couple of beers, to celebrate Christmas properly. To say they went down alright would be an understatement. We had both become considerably more thirsty as the evening went on. It made the evening more enjoyable in a way, and we were both game to do pretty much anything. I decided that to get into the festive mood properly we needed music. There was nothing better than a Christmas classic. I put on a compilation album which both of us enjoyed thoroughly, singing away rather tunelessly at times. With our inhibitions disappearing we didn't care.

"Come on, dance with me," I sprang to my feet and held out my hands for Nick to take.

Nick reluctantly stood up, knowing I wasn't going to give in. "Well, if this is what you're like after a few drinks…," he raised an eyebrow.

"I've not had nearly enough for what you're after," I smirked.

"I would never take advantage of you."

The way he said it sent shivers down my spine. It was so sincere, so meaningful, so honest. I knew he meant it, though I never would have thought he was the type to take advantage of someone. In just a few words he had said so much.

We began to dance along to Merry Christmas Everyone by Shakin' Stevens. Such a feel good song. For a while, it felt like we were on top of the world. It didn't last long though, we soon faded and fell asleep on the sofa, my head resting on Nick's shoulder.

Sunlight broke through my curtains as morning arrived. It was beautiful waking up to the glint of light in the room, the blissful silence, the odd sense of Christmas in the air, until my slight headache kicked in. My own fault, I know, because we don't often get the chance to drink the alcohol always goes straight to my head. But thankfully I wasn't the only one. Nick looked groggy to say the least. But he soon forgot about the pounding in his head when that hundred watt smile of his appeared when he realised that morning had come.

He just looked at me, and I couldn't help but smile like an idiot. Christmas had finally come, the dreaded day had arrived. I was pretty sure I was gradually beginning to like Christmas, slowly but surely. It would probably take years for my opinion to completely change, but I could see how people enjoyed it so much. Maybe that was down to the wonderful company I was in. Maybe it wasn't so bad after all.

Nick stood up and stretched, unfolding himself from the snug position we were in on the sofa. Snug but cramped. I stood up too, and offered him some coffee. He gratefully accepted. I told him to switch on the TV, see if a decent film was on. He flicked through the channels as I brought through our freshly brewed coffee. He came over to help me when he noticed I was trying very hard not to spill any, particularly any on him. He took both mugs that were filled dangerous close to top from me and placed them down on the coffee table with little effort. Almost as quick as he'd initially moved he was facing me again, looking at me in a strange way. I definitely felt insecure. But with one swift movement he wiped all that away. Nick reached out and hugged me tight.

"Merry Christmas, Sara," he said softly into my ear.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as he pulled away, his hands still resting on my forearms. I could feel his warm breath on my cheek, felt his hands gently squeeze my arms for reassurance as our eyes met. It was electric, ecstatic even. And to my utter surprise he began to move closer to me. I gulped, panicked slightly. Inwardly, I was in turmoil, I didn't know how to think or what to do. There was a rush of emotion inside me, from excitement and anticipation to confusion and doubt. But all negative thoughts were diminished when our lips finally met.

So that was how it all began, quite simple really. Something more was bound to come of it, the fact that I never even considered moving as Nick seemed to take forever to kiss me must have spoke volumes. We took things slow at first. I suggested that we didn't tell anyone from work for a little while, just until we knew where things were going. He was more than happy to oblige, but insisted that should that time come he would have to announce it from the top of his lungs to anyone who would listen. He'd told his mum by the New Year, and she was thrilled. We were happy too. And by Easter we came to the conclusion that we were serious about each other, we were in it for the long haul, and Nick finally got his chance to tell everyone. Thankfully they were all fine about it and very pleased for us. Not that we would have cared if they disapproved but it was nice to have their blessing. There was a few hoops we had to jump through, making sure work was never compromised by our flourishing relationship, but mostly things continued on as smoothly as before.

Nick insisted we spend our first Christmas as a couple together at his house, even though I told him I wouldn't have minded being on my own while he made a trip home to spend time with his parents. I'd already turned down the invitation of joining him in Dallas, having only met his parents once before not so long ago I felt it'd maybe be a bit much to expect them to welcome me back so soon and I really didn't want to get in the way or intrude on their family festivities. Nick had insisted I wouldn't have been getting in the way at all but he chose not to press the issue. He opted to stay with me, something his mother found endlessly fascinating. She'd very clearly stated that she was expecting big things to come from our relationship. No pressure then. It never even seemed to bother Nick much, he just took it all in his stride.

When Christmas morning arrived, Nick was like a child in a film as he practically bounced out of bed and headed straight for his Christmas tree where he'd secretly hid my present the night before. He handed it to me before I'd even had time to sit comfortably on the sofa. It was a medium sized box, no bigger than the palm of his hand, so beautifully wrapped I almost didn't want to see what was inside. I soon gave in, after maybe 15 seconds, and began to ever so gently remove the silver paper. Discarding the paper on the floor, I slowly opened the box, watching Nick gaze at me with anticipation. Inside the box was a lovely gold necklace with easily a karat worth of amethysts arranged in a simple yet stunning setting. It was absolutely gorgeous. And the fact that so much thought had gone into it, as he'd explained saying he'd chose it because it was the gemstone for the month I was born just made it all the more special to me. No one had ever put so much thought into buying me a gift in all my life. It made the present I'd bought him completely inferior.

The same day the following year came around all too soon. This time the shape of the box containing my gift was much smaller. I should have expected it really, should have had my investigating skills kicking in the moment I saw the tiny box. Inside lay an exquisitely beautiful diamond ring. I turned to face Nick to find him on one knee grinning like he'd just won the lottery. In all honesty, I was the one who had struck gold.

When Christmas came around again, this time I wasn't dreading it. For the first time since we'd been together I finally had the perfect gift for Nick, something that was bound to beat whatever he'd bought me by a long way. It wasn't a competition, that certainly isn't very Christmassy but I felt I had to pull out all the stops to give my new husband a Christmas to remember. We'd eventually set a date and got hitched on the 2nd October right here in Vegas. The effort Nick's family went to so that they could attend astounded me, and made us both feel guilty for holding it in Vegas. But it was where we wanted it, where we lived and worked. It was only right. It turned out to be the perfect day we'd always wished for. All our hard work and planning came together with ease. And this year was going to be our first year in our new home, a house we'd picked and could actually call ours. Nick decided to decorate it within an inch of its life. I think it was fair to say we were getting into the festive spirit.

Just after we woke in the morning, I was a nervous wreck. My heart rate hit the roof, my palms were clammy, I was shaking like a leaf and I could barely look Nick in the eye. But I knew it would all be worth it soon enough. Just the thought made me want to burst into tears. But I just about managed to keep it together as I insisted on giving Nick his present first. I handed him a sealed envelope. A look of confusion and excitement flashed across his face as he joked that I'd already given him a card. He carefully opened the seal, much too slowly for my liking. He finally had it open and reached inside to pull out the piece of paper. Nick's mouth fell open as he stared at it. He looked up at me with questioning eyes, but words failed me so I merely smiled as tears threatened to spill over. Last week I'd not felt myself at all and I soon learned why. I was pregnant. I chose to go for a scan and decided to give Nick the ultra sound picture of our baby for Christmas. There could be no better Christmas present surely.

They say Christmas isn't the same without children. I was finally going to be able to judge that for myself. I was finally going to have the Christmas I'd always wanted and Nick and I would soon be making up our very own Christmas traditions. And we'd have a baby to top it all off. I'd spent so many Christmas's on my own over the years that I needed someone to change a habit of a lifetime. That someone was Nick.

Thank you for reading. I want to say a big thank you to Kim and Bee for being so amazing. Merry Christmas! Please review.


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